The need to be right or doing the ‘right’ thing seems to be have been building up in me since young. It is necessary to act ‘proper’ at another person’s house, be it a stranger or even relatives’. It is best to be humble, do not show off that you are clever-er or have more money than others.
In school, it is about getting the highest scores – which means I need to be ‘right’ most of the time. And the profession I chose – Accounting. Again, it is about what is proper and correct (Kindly ignore those who indulge in creative accounting).
I realize the earlier ‘need to be right’ has put me in fear – fear of being ‘WRONG‘ – being criticized for providing the wrong answer or making the wrong decision. I don’t even like to decide on where to eat, in case the food turns out to be ‘NOT NICE’.
When the situation arises, even if the person is providing constructive comments, the defensive system comes up. That has earned me the comment of, “That’s why I don’t want to say anything (even though it is for my benefit), because you will take it the ‘wrong’ way (meaning I will get uptight, defensive and goes into non-learning mode)”.
One time, in my frustration, I ask – WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME!. Luckily for me, the person keeps on trying to help me to look at whatever is happening from a different perspective and how best to respond in different scenarios especially in interacting with those younger than me. Thus, I become more aware of things – my mannerism, my spoken words, my tone of voice.
I don’t expect things to change overnight as habit pattern built over time takes time to dilute. So it starts of by being aware. Then it is a reflection after the incident happened. I look forward to the day where I can check myself before I act in the ‘wrong’ manner, correct myself, and act in the ‘right’ manner.
Here I am not talking about acting accordingly to society’s norm but about my thoughts, words and actions that would be able to motive people to better themselves in their chosen field, including myself. You know what they say about ‘SELF TALK‘.
Slowly but surely I am changing – I choose to believe that. That’s the ‘RIGHT‘ way to think, NO??