I thought I made some notes about this topic.  I search for it and came up with nothing.  So am I going to write about it?  Why not, since I already started.

microphone-1172260_1280The incident that triggered this is an event – my friend, Heerraa (http://heerraa.com/)  is having her open mic session at 9pm yesterday and I was undecided whether to go or not.  Now, you would think it would be a no brainer to go and enjoy her performance as well as the other performers’ show especially since the usual event I usually go to is cancelled and I have the TIME and means to be there.

However, there was a struggle in me (self-inflicted, of course).  Before her performance, I was having a productive time.  I was working on my stuff, things were going fine, and with the momentum going, I could accomplish more.  That’s what my mind said.  But there was this feeling of wanting to be there too.

And the ‘clever’ mind brought up this thing – you want to go because you feel ‘obligated’ as a friend.  You don’t want to seem to be not supportive while the rest are there.  And the kicker – YOU GOT WORK TO DO!

When has it been that I don’t have work to do.  Work is never-ending.  Though I enjoy it, there are times I take a break and do something else. So, what’s the big deal?

The BIG Deal is that it is a break from my normal routine.  Heerraa is really growing as singer-songwriter and her gigs/open mics is going to grow.  No doubt about it.  This is just the beginning.  The future includes more gigs/open mics and my life routine is going to change which has made part of me not wanting anything to change uncomfortable.

Did I make it to her open mic?  I texted my mentor about the conflict I had and got his take on it.  The answer as always – Follow Your HEART!  When I sat in my car, I decided to switch on Waze to find out what time I would most likely reach there and looking at the time, I would most likely miss her performance.  The logical conclusion is to skip this round.

heart-1187266_1280Then I stop thinking.  I know the general direction and so off I went.  Along the way, a thought occur, why is my Waze so quiet?  Meaning, there should be some instruction coming about now.  I took a look and (surprise) it got switch off.  I switch it on again and when the instruction to turn ‘right’ came, my mind said, “That is not right, it should be somewhere else” and I didn’t follow the instruction to realize later that I have mistaken the place where the venue is.  So I took a longer route and I ended up there – ON TIME (??).  That’s the beauty of listening to the heart.

They started late and she was a few minutes into her performance when I walked in.  I enjoyed her session very much and a couple of others as well.  I left about an hour later (as I promised myself earlier).  Did I do the work that I wanted to do?  Nope.  The habit of, “Oh I am tired” came and I decided to go with that.

The obligation thing – I doubt it would come to that.  However, I may not be able to attend all her performances but I will do my best to be there.

Now why the title – letting go?  For me it is about letting go of my old routines and embrace new things.  Letting go of one of my old way of thinking – i should help/support others and their things are more important than mine.  It is about following one’s heart and I support whenever I can.  It is my choice, not an obligation.

P.S I hope someday there would be a way to translate all my thoughts into words so that my thoughts are captured immediately and not another version of it when I start writing.  The first version is (in my mind) way cooler than the final version.

 

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